Walking Alone

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Walking alone. I just got home from Springfield, Missouri, where I spoke to the Peace Network of the Ozarks. I had never been to Springfield and had no idea what to expect. The man coordinating the event seemed enthusiastic enough and he assured me that there would be a lot of support present, but you never know how people define support and community. I was pleasantly surprised by what I experienced this weekend. The turnout was not as high as it could have been in a perfect world, but it certainly was not an empty room. What I felt and saw in that building Saturday afternoon was a sense of community and support that I have yet to feel in Oklahoma. I have met some amazing people in the Oklahoma anti-war community, but I have never felt as if I was a member of that community. It is more of a feeling that I imagine exists between colleagues: we aim to achieve the same goals; we went through the same training or conscientious transformation; we sometimes work together, not quite partners but not quite competitors. From the moment I sat down with the men and women of the PNO, I felt like I was a member of their community; we were truly partners. Why this hasn't been the case is a loaded question with many different answers, but I have no idea which one is even remotely correct. In an effort to try and conceptualize what the problems could be and I how I can fix them, I am going to think out loud and brainstorm a little: Perhaps I have not been assertive enough when it comes to gaining support for IVAW and our goals in Oklahoma. It is entirely possible that, while the Oklahoma peace community and I genuinely share a common goal, there is something lost in translation that results in each of us doing different things and thinking we are on the same page. It is apparent to me now that we are not on the same proverbial page. In Springfield and other places I have been, I am simply asked, "What does IVAW need the most? How can we help you?" It's a very fluid communication process that results in much greater gains in those other areas of the country. I would like to say that the problem here is that there is a top-down communicative approach between the established peace community in Oklahoma and the new generation of IVAW members who also want to end this bloody war. That is not the case. I am not even included on the email listservs of the peace networks here; I have no idea what is going on. Not that I would ever want to overstate my "importance", but I am the most active IVAW member in Oklahoma. I am on the listservs for peace networks from the Delaware Valley to Houston to New Orleans to Vietnam Veterans Against the War. I did not ask to be included on any of these; it was understood that I need to be in the loop if I am going to be effective in coordinating with these organizations. So, we have established that communication is a problem. I was going to email the head of the Oklahoma peace community about this, but I have, in the past, sent several emails that were never given a reply. Maybe, if I can effectively communicate my disappointment and frustration with how things are being handled, we can re-establish our relationship as allies and this will all look silly when I look back on it later. We do have a dedicated group of anti-war activists in Oklahoma, particularly Oklahoma City. That much is certain, and I appreciate and admire the work they have done over all the years that I was either unborn, unexposed, or uncaring. That is why I am disappointed: I see the potential of a true partnership of OKC VFP, Peacehouse, and Oklahoma IVAW. IVAW is conducting Winter Soldier: Iraq and Afghanistan in two weeks in the Washington DC area. This will be a truly historic event modeled after the original Winter Soldier hearings that shed light on the criminal nature of the Vietnam War in 1971. This is big. With such a dedicated, entrenched peace community in Oklahoma, I had expected to have a flood of ideas coming my way as to how Oklahoma can help IVAW members publicize and attend Winter Soldier, as well as how they could turn Winter Soldier into something that Oklahoma City couldn't help but know about. I have heard nothing. I have emailed; still nothing. Meanwhile, I know that the community is not sitting around on their hands. They are doing what they genuinely believe to be what is necessary to bring about peace, but I could not disagree with their assessment of priorities more, no matter what else it is they are pursuing right now. Winter Soldier is two weeks away. History is two weeks away, but without a network of committed activists in Oklahoma helping publicize it, no one here will ever know what they are missing. I hope to have not rambled too much or spoken out of turn, but these are the honest feelings of a young, passionate, disappointed man following his heart and feeling, at times, alone on the path. Justin C. Cliburn